Lesbian Dating: How to get the girl
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Can’t get a date?
Yes you can!
So, you’re a single lesbian and you’re having a hard time “getting the girl”. Are you using old lines such as: “Have I seen you somewhere before?” or “Your feet must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day!”?
Stop.
Stop immediately.
Seriously, you’re embarrassing me.
So, here are some tips to get your potential love interest to say yes to that first date that you will be paying for (see my previous article on why this should be on your tab!):
1) The best way to get a girl’s attention is by paying attention. Look her in the eyes when she speaks. Be responsive. Don’t let her carry the entire conversation. Ask questions. Face her when you both are speaking.
2) A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy. So smile. Smile a lot. Smiling is warm, inviting and an excellent tool when flirting.
3) Which brings us to flirting! Flirting is an art. Some are born with the ability; some have to work a bit harder. The key to remember when flirting is not to be overbearing. Do not be presumptuous. And do not under any circumstance “cut to the chase” and just ask her to come home with you. Believe me, I’ve had someone do that and even if she had once had a chance, it quickly plummeted. Be charming.
4) Give subtle compliments but don’t spend the entire time complimenting her. You’ll seem too eager. Being too eager screams of desperation and you never want to come off as desperate.
5) The next time you see her, ask her about something your previously spoke about. “How’s your dog doing? I remember he was sick the last time we spoke.” Let her know that you were paying attention and that you remembered your conversation. Everyone wants to be memorable.
6) Save the cockiness for joking around with your buddies. There is a stark difference between confidence and conceit. If you are in love with yourself, then you definitely don’t need her to be in love with you too.
7) On the flip side, don’t talk down about yourself. Avoid constantly putting you or your life down. This forces her to be polite and try to “bring you back up” and instantly you have already made yourself a burden on her. Negativity is definitely a turn-off.
7) Dress for the occasion. I am sorry to say it but looks are important. No, everyone doesn’t have to be a beauty queen or king, but you really have to show her your best. Dress up. Wear a sexy cologne or perfume but don’t drown yourself in it. Just enough so that if she gets close enough it will tickle her senses.
8) Curb the swearing. While letting a curse word escape your lips here and there is all part of a normal conversation, letting your tongue lash out like a drunken sailor is another thing entirely. Show her respect by reeling in the harsher vocabulary; at least until she’s hopelessly in love with you.
9) Don’t be an attention hog. If you’re at a party and she seems to want to walk away to do whatever it is people do at parties, let her go. Don’t crowd her. If she’s interested, she will circle back around to you.
10) Don’t stalk her. If you see her name pop up on your instant messaging program, do not IM her every time you see her. Let her come to you sometimes. If every time she logs in you pop up on her screen, she will quickly become annoyed with you. If she does pop up on your instant messenger and you decide you will speak, at least wait a minute before doing so.
11) Be polite. You would be surprised how far manners will get you.
12) Soften your voice a bit. That’s right, turn on your bedroom voice. It couldn’t hurt to get her to start thinking about what it could be like when you two are cuddled up in bed together.
13) If you’re a butch, be chivalrous. Pull out all the stops. A butch-loving femme will definitely appreciate it.
14) If you’re a butch-loving femme, you probably don’t want to ask your butch out, so you have to be a bit subtler. Learn to work your feminine charms. Flirty smiles, a little biting of the lip and eye contact go farther than you realize.
So now you are fully equipped with all the tools you need to get that first date. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and show them what you’re made of. Can’t get a date? Yes you can!
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My Wife needs these tips LOL!
These are GREAT tips and there are plenty of single gay men (and straight men and straight women) who would be doing themselves a HUGE favor by reading your advice too.
come on tina "how to get the girl" there are much more important or intresing subject matter why settle for the easy stuff. youve got alot of talent dont be afraid to think out side the box. I still think your a fantastic writer, and look forward to your next hub page.
LOL -- cut me some slack Marisa! lol I'm just gettin' warmed up! :D
Happy to take suggestions though -- got any ideas for me?? :)
Great post!!
....but im still single... lol
the girl i like is my best forned for 2 years and she is bi but she is datieng this guy shes always dating someone so i never have a chance and im dienig to tell her im in love with her.
give me some help ehre im dieing my email addres is getto_cc@yahoo.com
realy good post thank you very much
Just caught this Hub! Some good advice here, sounds like for beginners though. If it is, it's grand! Don't worry about the comments. But it is playing it kind of safe. Some girls want it a bit faster. Some chicks will cut to the chase. Stalking is any bi girl's nightmare. Good hub!
i live in LA and sure there are lots of places for lesbians go attend, e.g bars, clubs and even speed dating bars, but i find it difficult over all dating scene, sure it might be easy to find someone, but its the connection that i have trouble with, im starting to think its my city, to big and to many superficial people, anyhoo im ranting hehe
im like in high school. i became obssesed-like with a girl that doesn't even like me in the first place. we texted, chat say hi's in school then one day, she got a boyfriend that's a playboy. what do i do. i never talked to her since.
And now that you have that check out my hub please on the things not to do after she says yes. Love you hub girl! ;)
High School students!
Stop saying your obsessed or in love with a girl from your school. It's not sexy and it definately won't work for you if you confess your undying love to her.
Just take it slow and follow the tips.
I have been doing my own thing for a while now, being myself and managed to get the attention of five girls.
I don't want a relationship I want fun and they know that, that's what seems to be more appealing.
The fact you DON'T want a relationship, but if you do then go for the fun, reel her in, then SLOWLY take it to the next level if you think the time is right.
Just don't push your confidence around.
First and foremost excellent post and advice for all types of relationships. I think you really dissected that topic and helped refine a lot of what I already know so thank you for that. But maybe you can help me with something Tina p or anyone in this post for that matter. Prologue: I know this girl that I have been friends with for sometime. We get along very well. Almost too well. We have things incommon by the truck loads. She is a lesbian. BUT! here's the twist...I'm a guy. Now I typically wouldn't go to this extent with most people but have you ever experience a moment with someone where you have been completely captivated by them and in a sense had a similar vibe from them in return? This girl is something else. She has the smile that can light up the entire room and the personality/wits to be able to sell icewater to an eskimo. Maybe I'm just complicating things by hesitating. One thing I'm sure of is that the feeling is real. I wouldn't mess with things like this for the sake of off setting a balance or getting my fill of something different. Even if all of this ends up being a complete disaster I can atleast tell myself that against (in a sense) insurmountible odds I was brave enough to take a chance with the type of girl that I have been waiting for all of my life. In that said I'm not obsessed. I'm the furthest thing from it. I just know what I want in life and I found what I believe to be my missing piece. To sum all of this up I showed up to a different type of battle with my guns but no ammunition. How should I go about all of this? If I'm wrong in this then I would like to know as well (though not what id like to hear the truth is what is most important to me). To me life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. Or what do you ladys think?
Hey girls call me 2675751732
i like this girl bu i don't know if she's gay or not should i ask her or just hang out with her and find out that way anyway let me know
great!! :)
Most of those are good advice for pretty much anybody, not just lesbians. Just being normal and being yourself is always the way to go, even through the haze of self-consciousness. Good hub.
I still cannot get a date. I have been single to long. I'm a friendly butch gal who loves the femmes. I do really like this girl. Maybe I'm just to shy. Who knows.
Great hub! And great tips as well. I enjoyed this hub very much :)
i really like this girl at school , she is bi but the only thing is ,is that she has got a girlfriend , i am waiting for her i don't mind how long it takes but i really dont know how to give her hints that i like her x
Ive got strong feelings for a friend of mine that are killing me. We're good as friends but I dont want to leave it at that, I cant watch her go out with other girls and ect. I mentioned to her that Im looking for a casual hook up but now I have to get her to think of me as more then a friend. I would much rather date her, or ask her out but being a highschooler I have a feeling that wouldnt work out too well. A lot of homophobes at school make things really hard.
I liked the post but its a different situation then I am in. lol. I wish I could meet her again as an adult and everything would workout like the words above. (:
Thanks,
xoxo.
hi my name is nichole and im 13 and im looking for a girlfriend i have four a little bit cause i had broken up with my ex :( and i hope to find a girl that truthful with me nice and can make me smile and also can spend time with me if u like hit me up
thank you :)
-sniffle- I haven't seen her in two weeks because of school... I really want to see her, and she chats me every time she sees me online... I really really want to tell her but I can't D: HELP. PLEASE I BEG YOU.
Hi cutie
Lescupids.com
A site for girls and their admire.Don't be hesitate!!!!!
And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell, but you know you love me.
These are also awesome tips for those of us trying to find ways to keep our long term relationships alive and fun!! Thank you for sharing Tina P!! :)
i really like it
like it :) hope it works...
Im lesbian..and I meet this girl in chatroom..we talk a bit often for like 10 days now..I dunno really what happen to me but it feels like im fallin for her..she was so kind of girl which happen that my type..and we have this conversation about love then she said if there is one really for her,this person might gonna wait for the right time..and I was like happy when I hear that coz I really want her..but my problem is she doesnt seems like interested to me..but still im not giving up..why do I need to do?
hi am straight mother of two kids,want to know if am bi curious, i look at women ever so often,and at lesbean sites.i chat on the sites and all ways feel for some one there what to do,or am am into women,or noy,need help,
Wicked advise, I've tried most of these on a date. Never got a second one though but will always be taking your advise on broad when on a date :)
Awsome advice!!!! :D Thank you I am deff. going to use this advices to tell her how i feel!!! Thanks agein!!
HeyXxx
I am either lesbian or bi, I'm still trying to figure things out... Anyway, I really like my best friend, and she admitted she likes me too. Simple right? Wrong! Neither of us have had any boyfriends or girlfriends before, and aren't very good with feelings, but I wanna ask her out! Also, we're in secondary school, so it would be hard to be a proper couple, but I want to try! Anyone willing to give advice, it would be apreciated!!!
OMG all my life i date guys but when i met her i became another girl i wish she could fell that iam falling for her from the first sight
i love u my angel
hey i am ammu from india.., i am married, and my sexual life is going very good! but nowadays, i am always have feelings and interests in girls! and always thinking about it!! itz a nice feelings!!!
Um..yah ILike it alot :) and I will try this..& But the girl I like has a girlfriend and I try as hard as I can to get with her anyway..But at the same time I don't want to brake them apart cause of me so
ok ill try it but i hope it works
hi! im a man.looking for nice lesbian girls with chat.im very good person.were are you???
same problem as julia exepted shes bi and shes got a boyfriend :( oh well i can wait
Such great advice! But, the problem is, is that practically nobody else in my little town is les/bi. :\
i don't want you to encourage lesbain/gay, it is not acceptable in the bible if u are a christian, it is a character possess by evil spirit. i was once about to be initiated into it and i now realized how sad and distratrous it is going to be. fear the God that created both sex(male and female)and whom can destroy if wishes.
There is a girl i go to college with that i really like so i will be using some of these tips the next time i see her thank you very much XD
Nicole,
My name is georgia and I'm 12 and I live in NSW australia and I am a lez if you ever want to talk give me your email n we can talk
Hi to all of you :) i'm a lesbien i guess its true i'm in love with a girl but she is not into me now since i'm quite intrested in girls i don no wat to do and how to control :) i'm just 18 years old :-) i'm single and ready to mingle any one intrested can chat with me on face book :) my name is hephzibah smith
hey....these are some great tips:) I really like this girl thats bi but i no she doesnt like me as much as i like her! sooo what should I do? im all confused about it....Bye
if any girls that are on right now and know what im going through hit me up please i need advice pleasexD
I'm dating a lesbian but i do have feelings for other gals at school.i'm no longer into guys.i dont know if i'm lesbian or what
Hey I know how to answer u questions I was in that position of if I'm a lesbian or not
can u guys help me?
i'm in love with my bestfriend (who is a lesbian) but she likes this other girl, and she's always asking me for advice on how to get the girl she likes, and she's always talking about why she likes her, and i get really jelouse really fast. It pisses me off that she has another "good friend" that's a girl and they always hang out together now and i feel like i'm becoming a third wheel but i can't help it because i love her. it kills me seeing her hang out with other girls. think anyone can help???????
Hey Nichole,
I'm Kasey, wanna know a secret??? *whispers "i bet i can make you smile"* :) i'm 13 too btw but i live in hawaiii :/ lol anyways...... if you want i'd really love to be there if every you wish to talk... lol hit me up
email: kkgirl597@hotmail.com
I hope your tips help. Knowing my girl, it will. She is incredibly shy... lol I love her so much xD
Hey Emily,
I know what your going through!!!! Im 13 and im not sure if im a lesbian?!!!! but the thing is that i think im more atracted 2 girls that i am with guys!!!!! im in love with 2 girls there names are: Emily and Dezzy but they both have there own lives and im not sure if they like me!!!!!!if anyone wants 2 talk hit me up please I really need someone 2 talk 2!!!!!!!! luvs ya!
Im going to ask out the girl i like tomorrow. Today i got scared but tomorrow I wont be!
Huu I wish I was brave like y'all I just told my mom I might be lesbian and I'm really confused I haven't told friends don't know if I should I think I like one of my friends I'm confused
I really like this girl I know Shes lesbian but she's several yrs older what do I do??
Am a guy and straight and in love with my ex who become lesbian last year she's from Russia and left me for another girl .. The problem is that I saw her again in a dinner and she told me that she's just friend with her gf no sex anymore but now she does want to Marry a Russian guy !! Am confuse if she's bi or lesbian and also that she doent have any respect for me , because am still in love with her !!! Any advice
Hi im needing some advise I'm a straight/ bi girl who is interested in a lesbian she was the one who contacted me & yes we have hooked once she calls me & txts me & has said she's interested I get mixed signal I really like her but don't want to get hurt & she has told me the same....... So Iv decided to step back & see wat happens any suggestions or advise would be appreciated
im a lesbian and there is this girl in school that i like but im a freshman and shes a senior i think she might like me but idk :/
I am 10 I think I am a lesbian
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha lol ur funny
Guyz plz contact m on facebook i nd sum advice @kimbely kim k@
Stephanie, I think you are definitely bi-curious. How do i know? Just the very fact that you were ever curious about women in the first place. You're not feeling it for no reason. I think you need to fully ask yourself if you want a woman in your life? Good luck :)
i am kinda seeing a lesbian is been 2weeks is the best sex she said the same am falling for her should i ????
Jess 5 years ago
Great tips! I will point all of my single friends here the next time they tell me they have trouble hooking up!